i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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