AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
