I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
