but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
