The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
