I can't watch pbs sober anymore
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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