I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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