I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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