porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
