Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
