I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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