she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
did i walk over a car last night?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
