"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
