Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
