i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
