mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
now i know why i became what i already was.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
