Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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