fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
