At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Randomize
