On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
