Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Randomize
