Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
