i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
