dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
