Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
