Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
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