I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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