Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
