I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
