3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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