he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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