tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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