I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
