It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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