Porn is love you can see.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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