Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Randomize
