I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
