Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
