I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
