if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
