your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
