K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
