problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Non-Jews are for practice
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
