That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
