i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
