im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
