Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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