im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
