Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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