no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
