Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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