I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
